An iftar meal set for one, your roommates had already had their dinner. Your mother on the other side of the world is getting ready to get up for Suhoor as you are close to breaking your fast. The exhaustion of fasting all day while working has worn you off. You did not have time to cook, so you ordered take-out, but it’s always delivered early. You sit on the kitchen chair alone, cup of water in hand, and your eyes back and forth between the plastic container and the clock. No call of prayer from the local mosque, so you google “What time is Maghrab in the US?” You trust it as you break your fast in silence. 

For the past year or so, we’ve all been in quarantine, and most of us know what it means to be isolated; not being able to visit family and friends, and spending a lot of alone time. For many Syrians, this isolation has been going on for over ten years, since families were separated after the Syrian conflict. 

Many Syrians, mostly young men and women, left Syria in pursuit of safety and a better future. The desire to live did not allow them the space to think of the consequences to come of being separated from home and their families. There are some families who migrated together, but others sent their children to faraway countries knowing they will be better there despite the distance. 

The feeling of longing and missing home, their mother’s embrace, and their father’s words of wisdom are constant reminders of their loneliness, and this feeling is apparent in day-to-day tasks. However, it is mostly felt during major holidays and events such as birthdays, weddings, funerals, and especially during the month of Ramadan. 

Waking up for suhoor becomes harder than it already is. Having your mother gently nudge you to get up as the smell of tea fills the house, your dad turning on the TV, and your siblings setting the table makes the suhoor less of a task and more of quality time spent well with the family. However, when you are living alone, in a foreign country, being the only one fasting for Ramadan in the apartment you are living in, with people you might or might not have known before, makes it difficult.

So most nights you end up sleeping without suhoor.